Talk to me

Well the world didnt come to an end 12.21.2013. Same ole politics different day. I am still here. sometimes wondering why? Is this what they call survivors guilt? It was like being born again after I finished with my treatments and all the surgeries, I wanted to shout it from the rafters. Do good because I felt good. Be a light a beacon to help others going through what I went through. But now..... the shine has worn off, I feel like a worn out record. I have had plenty of publicity locally  and nationally, even crossing the pond to Europe.
I feel richer in self worth , not so much in the bank account. We cannot rest on our past laurels, we have to keep striving to better ourselves going one step further. While I have no inclination to further my cause by any recurrence of Cancer, I do need to find a niche for myself and fill it. What do I want to be when I grow up?
Anyone out in there want to share their feelings on the aftermath of Cancer?
Let me hear what you have to say. I have learned that we have been given two ears for a reason, listen more than we speak.
Happy New Year to you all may 2013 be a year full of Blessings and Favor on you all.
Always your Breast Friend,
Janie Kay
xoxoxox

Pink Lemonade: Change vs Rearrange

Pink Lemonade: Change vs Rearrange: It has been a while since I last blogged.  Life sure has a way of monopolizing your time don't you think? Change is inevitable, it is a c...

Change vs Rearrange

It has been a while since I last blogged. 
Life sure has a way of monopolizing your time don't you think?
Change is inevitable, it is a constant for a healthy and productive life.
What changes can we make to insure that we get the most out of our relationships, self image, spirituality, home and finances?
We read  about these self help tips and techniques every where, the checkout line of the grocery store   women's magazines, talk shows and television doctors.

My theory has always been one  of rearranging, never truly changing. I believe I am what God intended me to be. Take a look at Oprah for instance, she is the same person fat or thin. She gives from her heart.  One of the wealthiest most influential woman in the world and yet she still has her demons about change.
Can outside influences  MAKE us change, adapt and adjust?
I accept  adaptation and adjusting its really just rearranging what you have to make you feel comfortable.

Deep huh.......
Change your circumstances or rearrange them?
If we are told we have to change or that a change is coming we panic thinking it is something bad. But if we are told we have to rearrange it is less offensive. We do not see it as a loss of something, rather moving things around to make things flow better.
My family struggles with my rearranging, I have been know to rearrange furniture while they sleep and it's their house.Some Love it, some...... well they will get used to it unless they want to change it back themselves.(I would never do this as  a  guest in a friends house).
I have had to rearrange my life a little over these past months. Moved to a new home, same furniture just rearranged it and everything looks like new.
I had plans to start a new business venture, but it vaporized. Now I look to see what else I can do. I have to create a need and fill it. I have skills professionally and personally through growth and maturity I know that by rearranging I can do anything I put my heart and soul into.
So that is the message...... Heart and soul, rearrange your life so that you can enjoy who you are.
Any thought?
Always your breast friend
Janie Kay

Picking the Right Nipple

I cannot believe next month June 7th it will be two years since I was diagnosed with invasive Breast Cancer.
There were some pretty tough times but overall it has been okay, I am still here and I have had a lot to laugh about during the last two years. The latest was my Last mammogram the first one I have had since my reduction surgery on my left breast.
They had to remove my left nipple and move it up higher. It would of looked really odd if they had left it in the same place and just reduced and lifted my breast. It probably would be somewhere below the curve of the breast facing down pointing to my left foot.
Even though the reduction surgery didnt hurt I was always a little nervous of the reattached nipple. It looked very pale and anemic of course there wasnt another one on the right side to compare it to. My Surgeon was going to use this shape and projection as a model for my right breast.
It did not look like model material to me.
Anyway like I said I went in for my mammogram. As you know, or should know you are not to wear any lotions perfumes or deodorant when going in for a mammogram. I began to sweat profusely as I started to disrobe, the beads of sweat were from fear. I wasnt worried they would find a lump. I was worried that when my breast was put in that vice like grip the nipple would pop off and shoot across the room. Then my boob would look like a crushed melon.
FEAR.... acronym: False Evidence Appearing Real.
No problems the test was fine and so was my nipple.
After that I decided I was not going to worry about that ever again. I will have a prosthetic Nipple made instead of one done surgically on my right breast. If that shot off during any mashing it would just stick to the wall like a window cling....
That is exactly what they look like except you can pick/match the color to your natural skin tones. It is held in place by an adhesive that allows it to stay put while swimming, excersise, showering and even during sex.
When this was expalined to me it reminded me of the old Tampax commercials "you can wear them Horseback riding, swimming, exercise and no one will know"lol
So a girlfriend and I had a little road trip to the nearest  prosthetic nipple fitter, which was about an hour from where I live. My husband didnt want to go with me he wants to be suprised. Girlfriends are the best to shop with. They are honest and supportive...... Does this nipple make my butt look big?
Well it will take a couple of weeks to come in and until then I am rocking the tank tops with one headlight showing through. I will keep you updated on how it works out for me and my lick and stick nipple.........
Always your Breast Friend,
Janie Kay

What to do ...what to do.....

Last week I had my three month check up with my oncologists, rocking my new hair do and new lady bumps I walked into the office greeting staff and patients as though I was a regular fixture, more like a family member.
It had been my three month check up but in actual fact I hadn't been in the office since November 2011, I just kept rescheduling, at the time I thought it was good enough reason to, babysitting grandson was one, visiting Mother was another, couldn't be bothered was the third, finally I had to face the fact I was avoiding having to go back to what was, not what I felt like now.
I was feeling good Cancer and treatments was behind me I didn't want to be reminded of what I had been through. Once I had finally got enough gumption to go ahead and bite the bullet I decided to take in a bag of all my old head scarfs and hats and donate them to patients, I wasn't going to need them anymore and I certainly  wasn't going to wear them again. I was confident I was cured, or was I? That is always nagging in the back of your head. What if? Would I be willing to go through it all again? I think I rode that horse long enough for my liking I wasn't about to ride again. I will walk thank you very much. So after the blood draws and lab results came back and i sat with the Doc and answered all the precursory questions, the visit was over.... wait I said does that mean I am okay? Sure he said," look July will be two years, I can't say it will never come back but if it was to it would normally return within the first two years from your original diagnosis", my heart did a little skip of relief, "great" I said, "now I think I need to have a Colonoscopy seeings that we are supposed to have our first one done at age 50 and I will be 55 this year.....But don"t schedule til July". What am I a masochist or a glutton for punishment. All these things we have to do to preserve or health, to live longer... to enjoy life and all it's goodness. To be a part of something greater than yourself, to tell your story so others wont feel so alone. Well at least the preparation for the Colonoscopy will help shed a few lbs to get me started on my summer weight loss program......lol.
Moral of the story is:
Dont make excuses peeps just do it, for shits and grins...xoxo
Always your breast friend
Janie Kay

Patriotism

It was around 5:15 pm as I sat waiting for my grandsons little league game to start, the ball fields and spectator sections through out the ball park began to fill. The undeniable sound of cleets walking/running on the cement sidewalks, coaches rallying their teams with pregame warm ups. Parents and grandparents hustling to their child's field to support their little "athlete", whether they were stars, pinch runners and the occasional butterfly catcher in the outfield. "Baseball the great American Pastime". A game that can be played by old and young male and female. Spectators, with their drinks, popcorn or sunflowers seeds ready for the big game.  I am a people watcher and as always I pay a lot of attention to whats going on around me. At exactly 5:25pm the loud speaker played  a recording of a young lady singing the national anthem. The teams, coaches, older men and women rose to their feet and faced the flag removing their hats, many put their right hands over their hearts. I looked over to the American Flag waving in the breeze and then my gaze wandered off to the continued hustle and bustle of the people coming and going on the sidewalks around the ball park. I wouldn't call it disrespect, just maybe a little ignorant, there were several adults talking on the cells phones, children still running around and parents hollering at them to wait up. Shaking my head my gaze returned to the flag. I began to well up with tears, not so much of pride, but sadness. I thought of  our soldiers fighting and dying for this flag. The innocence of the kids playing, that one day they would be fighting that fight and dying for that right. I looked back at the flag as the last verse was being sung "for the land of the free and the home of the brave". Play Ball, the concession stand opened and that was it game on.Sunflower seeds spit to the ground parents cheering on their teams, I sat for a moment, and said a word of thanks to those soldiers  that have fought and lost their lives to All Flags. It's not until we are faced with this kind of truth that we can truly appreciate what we have. When I say All Flags I say this from my point of view as English woman who has seen patriotism  and pride on both continents and as a Mother and Grandmother who wants a better life for her children. So if its ignorance or innocence may God bless our children keep them safe and protect us all. No lessons learned the hard way makes anyone a winner.

Welcome Words from a Professional fitter...

Hi Jane,

Sorry it has taken me  a bit to get back to you but here goes-

A lot of info and pics of store are on our website www.treva's.com for starters.  I graduated from DU in education and then went into business in 1971, nearly 41 years ago. So my resume’ would be very short. I jokingly tell my clients my minor in psychology has been far more helpful than the major  I got.  Then when I pause to think, I recognize that I have been teaching in the fitting rooms every since.  Educating women on how to put their bras on, what is the best fit, and how to hide or minimize defects or differences in breast size, shape, etc.  We deal with post mastectomies, and also the full-figured woman who cannot find a bra past a triple D cup. (We go to cup size N) The dear team of women who work in Treva’s are all excellent fitters and problem solvers.  When you were talking about needing a matching nipple, had it been in the store, I would have gone straight to my back room for an attachable nipple in the right size and color.

We do a lot of fitting for women, who like you, have had reconstruction and don’t quite match up to the other side.  We have some nice products to correct that problem, silicone shell liners, bust cups that are very inexpensive,  and sometimes just a good contour bra works well.  There are also the women who were born with 1 breast larger by 1-3 cups different in size.

To answer one of your questions, what are the parameters of good bra fit -  the bra should be comfortable in the band, low in the back, hooked in the loosest hooks which will allow for some relaxing of the elastic as it is worn and tightening at that point.  A bra should never ride up the back, indicating too big in the band and that also causes the straps to slip down on the shoulders.  It should be wide enough under the arm to hold in the tissue (part breast and part body fat).

Smaller cup sizes – A and B tend to be narrower on the sides and have fewer hooks, 2, in the back.  Now for the front fit – the bra should rest comfortably on the rib cage with an easy finger run under the band.  The breast tissue should be enclosed in the cup, fill the top, and and rest against the chest wall.  We do not do a lot of work with the deep plunges, and more breast out than in.  We leave those bras to the Victoria’s Secrets and their younger clientele and staff.

I will find pictures of some of the products which I have mentioned if that would be helpful.

 Well there we have it ladies there is someone out there that can help us, Thank you so much Treva and your great staff. I sure hope you will get support from my readers as you have given support (pun intended) to so many women....
Always your breast friend,
Janie Kay xoxo

Victoria's Secret vs Jane's Secret

Fifteen months ago I had my right breast removed due to Breast Cancer. While it truly has been life changing I really have accepted each stage as a learning curve in acceptability. I now have had an implant on the right and a breast lift and reduction on the left. I am happy with the lady bumps and in fact I really like my right mound better than the natural breast on the left. I have been wearing lacy camisole's and tank's instead of bra's because..... well, I didn't think I really needed one. They were perky and firm just like they were when I was in my twenties.
I have been looking forward to the summer, wearing tank tops and swimsuits, my problem is I have only one nipple at this time and well it is very noticeable under my sweater and T shirts. I thought that if I wore a bra  it would hide the offensive nub and I would feel less self conscious about my one headlight. So this last Saturday I went to Victoria's Secret to get measured for a new bra. The young sale clerk took me to the dressing rooms and handed me over to a very confident and professional fitter, (she couldn't have been more that 23 years old). "what size bra do you usually wear" she said. I explained to her that I was a Breast cancer survivor and had reconstruction so I have no idea what size I needed. "Lift up your arms she said and let me measure you", I did as I was instructed, I did feel kinda weird as I am 5'8" and the clerk was maybe 5' coming  face to face with my breast, she had to step forward to adequately put the tape around my back,  her nose  rested right between my cleavage."Hmm she said again, 39 B", she then dropped the tape and asked me what kind of bra I would like to try on. "It has to be wire free I said". She showed me into a dressing room and told me she would return with the "perfect bra".A few moments later I had taken off my camisole and she returned passing a bra over the top of the dressing room door and asked me to try it on and then let her know how it felt. As I put the bra on securing the hook and eye in the front and twisting it around so that the cups were level with my breast I leaned forward placed each breast in its rightful place and hoisting the straps over my shoulder  with a little adjustment turned to look at myself in the mirror, my hands over the cups of the bra, they felt secure as I dropped my hands and took a long look at the image in front of me I  was horrified to see I had more fat pouring over the underarm of my bra than what was in the cup. I guess this was my ah ha moment... you cant put 20 something year old boobies on a 55 year old woman. These were custom made boobs and they did not look good with the old chasise. I know I still have one more surgery left to tweek out the set and have a nipple added, but I just cant stand the idea that when they lay me to rest my body would fall in waves of hills and valleys and my boob will stand up like twin spires. If I had just chosen to have the tram flap procedure done instead I would have a flat tummy but my boobs would look like a dry river bed of stretch marks..... It seems like no matter what we will never be perfect and thats okay  because I can still laugh and to many humor is one of the best charactoristics anyone can have.... that and a greatful heart.

Always Your Breast friend
Janie Kay

MYTHS AND FACTS OF BREAST CANCER

This Blog is a little more clinical than I would usually post, however I feel it necessary to reveal a truth or two about how we look at breast cancer.

Breast Cancer Facts

• Breast cancer mostly afflicts women, yet men are able to develop the cancer as well. According to Kids Health, breast cancer never affects children. Breast cancer is the result of abnormal cell growth within the breast. Our body creates normal cells, and when they die, new ones are formed. However, when a cell becomes abnormal, this cell can replicate, making many new, harmful cells. These new, harmful cells will create a tumor, which will then result in cancer.

In regards to not creating hysteria, cancer in adolescents is small, but if you find a lump you should have it checked out,. “Most of the time it will be benign. And one of the ways young girls can lower their risk is for parents to promote healthy lifestyles — avoiding cigarettes and alcohol, exercising and eating a healthy diet.”

Breast Cancer in Men

How Can Men Get Breast Cancer?

Even though men do not have breasts like women, they do have a small amount of breast tissue. In fact the "breasts" of an adult man are similar to the breasts of a girl before puberty, and consist of a few ducts surrounded by breast and other tissue. In girls, this tissue grows and develops in response to female hormones, but in men -- who do not secrete the same amounts of these hormones -- this tissue does not develop.

However, because it is still breast tissue, men can develop breast cancer. In fact, men get the same types of breast cancers that women do, although cancers involving the milk producing and storing regions of the breast are very rare. According to the American Cancer Society, an estimated 2,300 cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed in men in 2009.

Why Do I Not Hear About Breast Cancer In Men As Much As I Hear About Breast Cancer In Women?

Breast cancer in men is a very rare disease. This is possibly due to their smaller amount of breast tissue and the fact that men produce smaller amounts of hormones like estrogen that are known to affect breast cancers in women.

In fact, only about 1 in 100 breast cancers affect men and only about 10 men in a million will develop breast cancer.

Which Men Are More Likely to Get Breast Cancer?

It is very rare for a man under age 35 to get breast cancer, but the likelihood of developing the disease increases with age, with most being detected between the ages of 60 to 70 years. Family history of breast cancer in a close female relative and a history of radiation exposure of the chest can also increase the risk.

The clearest risk for developing breast cancer seems to be in men who have had an abnormal enlargement of their breasts (called gynecomastia) in response to drug or hormone treatments, or even some infections and poisons. Individuals with a rare genetic condition called Klinefelter's syndrome, who often have gynecomastia as part of the syndrome, are especially prone to develop breast cancer. Men with severe liver disease tend to have lower levels of male hormones (androgens) and higher levels of female hormones (estrogens) putting them at an increased risk of developing gynecomastia and breast cancer. Also, diseases of the testicles such as mumps orchites, a testicular injury, or an undescended testicle increase the risk of male breast cancer.

How Serious Is Breast Cancer in Men?

Doctors used to think that breast cancer in men was a more severe disease than it was in women, but it now seems that for comparably advanced breast cancers, men and women have similar outcomes.

The major problem is that breast cancer in men is often diagnosed later than breast cancer in women. This may be because men are less likely to be suspicious of an abnormality in that area. In addition, their small amount of breast tissue is harder to feel -- making it more difficult to catch these cancers early, and allowing tumors to spread more quickly to the surrounding tissues.

What Are the Symptoms of Breast Cancer In Men?

Symptoms of breast cancer in men are very similar to those in women. Most male breast cancers are diagnosed when a man discovers a lump on his chest. However, unlike women, men tend to go to the doctor with more severe symptoms that often include bleeding from the nipple and abnormalities in the skin above the cancer. The cancer has already spread to the lymph nodes in a large number of these men.

How Is Breast Cancer Diagnosed and Treated in Men?

The same techniques -- physical exams, mammograms, and biopsies (examining small samples of the tissue under a microscope) -- that are used to diagnose breast cancer in women are also used in men.
The same four treatments that are used in treating breast cancer in women -- surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, and hormones -- are also used to treat the disease in men. The one major difference is that men with breast cancer respond much better to hormone treatments than women do. As discussed in the section on breast cancer in women, many breast cancers have hormone receptors, that is, they have specific sites on the cancer cells where specific hormones like estrogen can act.
Men are much more likely to have these receptors than women, making hormonal treatment more likely to be effective.


Just wanted you to know the facts....
always your Breast Friend,
Janie Kay

 

hanging by her boob

 

While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honour, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances."

The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I did too so, I listened as the
lady told her story.

"Your Honour,  I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."

Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."

"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps..."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed"

Jane,

What a wonderful opportunity to share your story.  It’s an honor and a privilege to be part of your “story”;  sharing your experiences as you’ve progressed through the disease and recovery.   I am leaving with you my contact information so that if you have any readers who have questions, please encourage them to call or email.  I can be reached at 559-738-7572 or even better at alechtman@vmchealth.com. 

Rainy Days

We finally had some rainfall here in sunny California about 1". I slept so great listening to the rain against the windows "pitter patter", the tap tap tap of raindrops. I snuggled under my down comforter the pillow wrapped around my head I fell into a deep restorative sleep. The next morning I woke much later than usual it was a Saturday morning and everyone should have a day just to lie in. I didn't have any appointments and decided it was a great day to turn the radio up loud and clean house. I slowly rose from my bed, grabbed my glasses from the night stand and slipped my feet into my fuzzy slippers. As I was putting on my glasses while walking toward the bathroom mirror I was startled at what a mess my hair was, all twisted and standing on end above my ears and a mohawk of some sort running down the top of my head. If it was orange I would of looked like an oompa loompa from the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I grabbed a brush and tried to tame it down, that didnt work. No worries I thought I am only going to clean house and I will shower later. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I went to the closet and grabbed a bandana to match my jammies. (I always clean in my jammies no reason to double the laundry). I returned to the mirror to tie on the bandana around my mop of unruly hair. As I tied the knot in the back and secured the scarf around my forehead I checked the mirror for a once over. I nearly dropped to my knees, my stomach started to churn, I began to break out in a cold sweat. My eyes began to burn, it was me......looking exactly how I had while going through Chemotherapy. I had blocked those days from my memory and here they were again rising to the surface. I took off the head scarf and ran my fingers through my messy hair. Thank God for bad hair days!
After  I had a good strong cup of coffee turned up the radio I soon cleared my mind with good old sweating to the oldies while dusting and vacuuming and rearranging furniture. My strength had certainly returned. After a while the house was spic and span time for a nice hot shower. I was going  to put on a big bulky sweater and leggings and sit on the sofa and read a good book. I just love Saturdays like this, don't you?
I jumped in the hot shower steam rising up over the shower doors and into the air. I scrubbed my face then poured a nice glob of volumizing shampoo into my hand and rubbed it into my hair, I love that feeling, the hair slipping around my hands as I swirl and rub my head. Thank God my hair grew back!
As I finished showering and rinsed off I grabbed a big fluffly towel that I wrapped around my big fluffly  body.

Slicked my hair back with a comb and began the ritual of drying off and lotioning up.(This takes a while, there is a lot of ground to cover if you know what I mean). As I began to dress staring in the mirror I am reminded again of the effects of Cancer. Yes I had two lady bumps one had been reconstructed and had an implant the other had a reduction and lift to match the size and shape of the new boob. Still fresh with  the scars from a surgery I had had less than four months ago.

This will never go away, the memories the feelings, the scars both mentally and physically. All I can do is Thank God I am still here!
So my house is clean, so am I, all dressed hair dried and styled, time to relax and read a good book.
Always your Breast friend,
Janie Kay

 This is my Surgeon who truly has been a great support to me, no pun intended. He was honest and explained all the different avenues that a person could take after having a mastectomy. Breast reconstruction is a very personal choice and not right for everyone. "You will never have perfect breasts, but you will feel and look better in your clothes". Thank God for Dr Alex Lechtman!

For your caregivers

Spouse/Lover/significant other

Children

Sister/brother

Friend

Neighbor

Stranger

What happens when someone you love and care about gets diagnosed with Cancer?  It truly is life changing for everyone around you. Some relationships become stronger others wither and die. The body recognizes danger and prepares us for either running away or fighting through a number of physiological and psychological changes – for example increased focus, reflexes and heart and lung activity. We all have a built in defense mechanism when faced with what our body/mind interprets as danger to ourselves.  For instance when an Armadillo reacts to danger it curls in a ball and uses the armor like plating on his body to protect him against an attack, while a Porcupine fires off his quills to the enemy. Bottom line it is, Stress and you have been given a heavy dose of it.
When our body experiences a shock it quickly releases hormones to help survive. These hormones help us run faster and fight harder. They increase heart rate, blood pressure, delivering more oxygen and blood sugar to power important muscles. They increase sweating in an effort to cool theses muscles helping them stay efficient. They divert blood away from the skin to the core of the body. 
I remember when I was about seventeen I was backing out of our driveway and backed into my father’s Buick Regal, (his pride and joy) my little Tempest Pontiac had locked my right rear bumper with my dad’s Regal left front bumper. I could have made a large button hole in my seat as my butt cheeks clenched with fear. I jumped out of the car, quickly assessed the situation then lifted my car off of my dad’s car, jumped back in my car and pulled forward. As I put my car in park I got out and checked the damages, just a few scratches no major dents. I began to cry, I went in the house and confessed my crime to my father.  After he calmed me down and could understand my blubbering, he went out to inspect the damages, he couldn’t believe that I lifted my own car, I tried to show him how I did it, but I was so weak by then I couldn’t pick up a pebble let alone a car.
I had experienced this Stress mechanism in the fight mode which quickly turned to flight with burnout and exhaustion.
This happens all the time in a care giving situation we start out strong and capable. As the time goes on our energies become depleted and we get tired and irritable, then we feel guilty for having resentment not at the person we love but at the situation.
We experience Burn out .
You are not alone and your feelings are natural. Thank God that we have resources available to us through many agencies that recognize the effects that Cancer has on you the caregiver. Here are just a few I would like to share with you:
American Cancer Society:   www.cancer.org
The Wellness Community:  www.thewellnesscommunity.org
Provides free psychological and emotional support to people with cancer and their families.
Cleaning for a Reason. http://Cleaningforareason.org
A Non Profit organization that has members nationwide that provide cleaning services to cancer patients.
I also encourage you to accept any help you can from friends, neighbors and family members. Most people that offer you the heartfelt sympathy really do want to do something to help, it makes them feel good about themselves and lightens the load. Make a list for yourself and what your duties are as a caregiver. Then you can delegate. Allowing others to help makes you able to be the best caregiver you can. Take time out for yourself as a former patient I didn’t need someone standing over me while I slept. Go for a walk exercise, get out of the house take deep breathes cry, scream if you have to making sure of course that you cannot be heard by others that might think your under attack or in danger. Keep up with your friends and family you cannot fill up someone else’s cup if yours is empty you need to refuel.
Hang in there it really is worth it in the long run,
Always your Breast Friend
Janie Kay xox
P.S I welcome any comment and tips that you can share with us all on what helped you during your trials..

How to Care for a Loved One With Cancer

How to Care for a Loved One With Cancer