Victoria's Secret vs Jane's Secret

Fifteen months ago I had my right breast removed due to Breast Cancer. While it truly has been life changing I really have accepted each stage as a learning curve in acceptability. I now have had an implant on the right and a breast lift and reduction on the left. I am happy with the lady bumps and in fact I really like my right mound better than the natural breast on the left. I have been wearing lacy camisole's and tank's instead of bra's because..... well, I didn't think I really needed one. They were perky and firm just like they were when I was in my twenties.
I have been looking forward to the summer, wearing tank tops and swimsuits, my problem is I have only one nipple at this time and well it is very noticeable under my sweater and T shirts. I thought that if I wore a bra  it would hide the offensive nub and I would feel less self conscious about my one headlight. So this last Saturday I went to Victoria's Secret to get measured for a new bra. The young sale clerk took me to the dressing rooms and handed me over to a very confident and professional fitter, (she couldn't have been more that 23 years old). "what size bra do you usually wear" she said. I explained to her that I was a Breast cancer survivor and had reconstruction so I have no idea what size I needed. "Lift up your arms she said and let me measure you", I did as I was instructed, I did feel kinda weird as I am 5'8" and the clerk was maybe 5' coming  face to face with my breast, she had to step forward to adequately put the tape around my back,  her nose  rested right between my cleavage."Hmm she said again, 39 B", she then dropped the tape and asked me what kind of bra I would like to try on. "It has to be wire free I said". She showed me into a dressing room and told me she would return with the "perfect bra".A few moments later I had taken off my camisole and she returned passing a bra over the top of the dressing room door and asked me to try it on and then let her know how it felt. As I put the bra on securing the hook and eye in the front and twisting it around so that the cups were level with my breast I leaned forward placed each breast in its rightful place and hoisting the straps over my shoulder  with a little adjustment turned to look at myself in the mirror, my hands over the cups of the bra, they felt secure as I dropped my hands and took a long look at the image in front of me I  was horrified to see I had more fat pouring over the underarm of my bra than what was in the cup. I guess this was my ah ha moment... you cant put 20 something year old boobies on a 55 year old woman. These were custom made boobs and they did not look good with the old chasise. I know I still have one more surgery left to tweek out the set and have a nipple added, but I just cant stand the idea that when they lay me to rest my body would fall in waves of hills and valleys and my boob will stand up like twin spires. If I had just chosen to have the tram flap procedure done instead I would have a flat tummy but my boobs would look like a dry river bed of stretch marks..... It seems like no matter what we will never be perfect and thats okay  because I can still laugh and to many humor is one of the best charactoristics anyone can have.... that and a greatful heart.

Always Your Breast friend
Janie Kay