hanging by her boob

 

While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honour, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances."

The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I did too so, I listened as the
lady told her story.

"Your Honour,  I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!

Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."

Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."

"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps..."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed"

Jane,

What a wonderful opportunity to share your story.  It’s an honor and a privilege to be part of your “story”;  sharing your experiences as you’ve progressed through the disease and recovery.   I am leaving with you my contact information so that if you have any readers who have questions, please encourage them to call or email.  I can be reached at 559-738-7572 or even better at alechtman@vmchealth.com. 

Rainy Days

We finally had some rainfall here in sunny California about 1". I slept so great listening to the rain against the windows "pitter patter", the tap tap tap of raindrops. I snuggled under my down comforter the pillow wrapped around my head I fell into a deep restorative sleep. The next morning I woke much later than usual it was a Saturday morning and everyone should have a day just to lie in. I didn't have any appointments and decided it was a great day to turn the radio up loud and clean house. I slowly rose from my bed, grabbed my glasses from the night stand and slipped my feet into my fuzzy slippers. As I was putting on my glasses while walking toward the bathroom mirror I was startled at what a mess my hair was, all twisted and standing on end above my ears and a mohawk of some sort running down the top of my head. If it was orange I would of looked like an oompa loompa from the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I grabbed a brush and tried to tame it down, that didnt work. No worries I thought I am only going to clean house and I will shower later. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I went to the closet and grabbed a bandana to match my jammies. (I always clean in my jammies no reason to double the laundry). I returned to the mirror to tie on the bandana around my mop of unruly hair. As I tied the knot in the back and secured the scarf around my forehead I checked the mirror for a once over. I nearly dropped to my knees, my stomach started to churn, I began to break out in a cold sweat. My eyes began to burn, it was me......looking exactly how I had while going through Chemotherapy. I had blocked those days from my memory and here they were again rising to the surface. I took off the head scarf and ran my fingers through my messy hair. Thank God for bad hair days!
After  I had a good strong cup of coffee turned up the radio I soon cleared my mind with good old sweating to the oldies while dusting and vacuuming and rearranging furniture. My strength had certainly returned. After a while the house was spic and span time for a nice hot shower. I was going  to put on a big bulky sweater and leggings and sit on the sofa and read a good book. I just love Saturdays like this, don't you?
I jumped in the hot shower steam rising up over the shower doors and into the air. I scrubbed my face then poured a nice glob of volumizing shampoo into my hand and rubbed it into my hair, I love that feeling, the hair slipping around my hands as I swirl and rub my head. Thank God my hair grew back!
As I finished showering and rinsed off I grabbed a big fluffly towel that I wrapped around my big fluffly  body.

Slicked my hair back with a comb and began the ritual of drying off and lotioning up.(This takes a while, there is a lot of ground to cover if you know what I mean). As I began to dress staring in the mirror I am reminded again of the effects of Cancer. Yes I had two lady bumps one had been reconstructed and had an implant the other had a reduction and lift to match the size and shape of the new boob. Still fresh with  the scars from a surgery I had had less than four months ago.

This will never go away, the memories the feelings, the scars both mentally and physically. All I can do is Thank God I am still here!
So my house is clean, so am I, all dressed hair dried and styled, time to relax and read a good book.
Always your Breast friend,
Janie Kay

 This is my Surgeon who truly has been a great support to me, no pun intended. He was honest and explained all the different avenues that a person could take after having a mastectomy. Breast reconstruction is a very personal choice and not right for everyone. "You will never have perfect breasts, but you will feel and look better in your clothes". Thank God for Dr Alex Lechtman!

For your caregivers

Spouse/Lover/significant other

Children

Sister/brother

Friend

Neighbor

Stranger

What happens when someone you love and care about gets diagnosed with Cancer?  It truly is life changing for everyone around you. Some relationships become stronger others wither and die. The body recognizes danger and prepares us for either running away or fighting through a number of physiological and psychological changes – for example increased focus, reflexes and heart and lung activity. We all have a built in defense mechanism when faced with what our body/mind interprets as danger to ourselves.  For instance when an Armadillo reacts to danger it curls in a ball and uses the armor like plating on his body to protect him against an attack, while a Porcupine fires off his quills to the enemy. Bottom line it is, Stress and you have been given a heavy dose of it.
When our body experiences a shock it quickly releases hormones to help survive. These hormones help us run faster and fight harder. They increase heart rate, blood pressure, delivering more oxygen and blood sugar to power important muscles. They increase sweating in an effort to cool theses muscles helping them stay efficient. They divert blood away from the skin to the core of the body. 
I remember when I was about seventeen I was backing out of our driveway and backed into my father’s Buick Regal, (his pride and joy) my little Tempest Pontiac had locked my right rear bumper with my dad’s Regal left front bumper. I could have made a large button hole in my seat as my butt cheeks clenched with fear. I jumped out of the car, quickly assessed the situation then lifted my car off of my dad’s car, jumped back in my car and pulled forward. As I put my car in park I got out and checked the damages, just a few scratches no major dents. I began to cry, I went in the house and confessed my crime to my father.  After he calmed me down and could understand my blubbering, he went out to inspect the damages, he couldn’t believe that I lifted my own car, I tried to show him how I did it, but I was so weak by then I couldn’t pick up a pebble let alone a car.
I had experienced this Stress mechanism in the fight mode which quickly turned to flight with burnout and exhaustion.
This happens all the time in a care giving situation we start out strong and capable. As the time goes on our energies become depleted and we get tired and irritable, then we feel guilty for having resentment not at the person we love but at the situation.
We experience Burn out .
You are not alone and your feelings are natural. Thank God that we have resources available to us through many agencies that recognize the effects that Cancer has on you the caregiver. Here are just a few I would like to share with you:
American Cancer Society:   www.cancer.org
The Wellness Community:  www.thewellnesscommunity.org
Provides free psychological and emotional support to people with cancer and their families.
Cleaning for a Reason. http://Cleaningforareason.org
A Non Profit organization that has members nationwide that provide cleaning services to cancer patients.
I also encourage you to accept any help you can from friends, neighbors and family members. Most people that offer you the heartfelt sympathy really do want to do something to help, it makes them feel good about themselves and lightens the load. Make a list for yourself and what your duties are as a caregiver. Then you can delegate. Allowing others to help makes you able to be the best caregiver you can. Take time out for yourself as a former patient I didn’t need someone standing over me while I slept. Go for a walk exercise, get out of the house take deep breathes cry, scream if you have to making sure of course that you cannot be heard by others that might think your under attack or in danger. Keep up with your friends and family you cannot fill up someone else’s cup if yours is empty you need to refuel.
Hang in there it really is worth it in the long run,
Always your Breast Friend
Janie Kay xox
P.S I welcome any comment and tips that you can share with us all on what helped you during your trials..

How to Care for a Loved One With Cancer

How to Care for a Loved One With Cancer